DavidWolfe.comIf you’re an overthinker, you know how much it can affect your life. It can cause you to stress out at work, hold yourself back from taking chances and take a toll on your relationships. As much as you don’t want to overthink things, your mind seems to go there all on its on. Something small happens that triggers your anxiety, and in no time at all, you’re picturing a traumatic scenario that has about a 1% likelihood of actually happening.
If your overthinking has ruined a relationship in the past, you know how important it is to find a way to control it. One of the quickest ways to damage a relationship is to overthink everything your partner does and says. You end up reading between the lines when there aren’t any, and finding a reason to be hurt or upset.
What Happens When You Overthink?
When you see or hear something unexpected, you begin to form a question in your mind. Sometimes, you go back to an experience that happened in the past and you focus on that. Soon, you have entered the over-thinking zone and your mind begins to wander. You start to question every word that someone says and every move they make. You see hidden motives and backhanded compliments where they don’t exist. This causes you to lose trust in others and to question yourself.
Overthinking can negatively effect your relationship in many ways. When you ask your partner 100 questions about where they went for dinner with their friends and who was there, it’s probably going to start an argument. Or, if you notice that it took your partner 30 minutes to respond to your text message, your might get upset about why it took so long, creating unlikely scenarios in your mind. Over-analyzing can cause you to get confused and make poor decisions.
How To Stop Overthinking In Your Relationship
1. Breathe And Trust
When you focus on the small things instead of the big picture, you hinder your relationship. It’s important to be able to recognize when your thoughts are getting the best of you. When your mind starts to wander, force yourself to take a step back. Take a few deep breaths to collect yourself, then make a conscious decision to trust your partner. Without trust, your relationship will never last.
2. Ask Yourself Why You Feel This Way
Ask yourself if your partner has actually given you a reason to feel the way you do. Have they ever broken your trust before? Have they ever lied to you? If the answer is no, then the reason lies with you. Practice self-analysis to get to the root of the problem. It will help you realize if you’re overthinking, being insecure or if you’re projecting a problem from your past onto your new relationship.
3. Find A Distraction
Sometimes the best way to stop yourself from overthinking is to find a distraction. If you can’t shake your anxious feeling, go for a walk in the park. Collect your thoughts in a notebook, create artwork to refocus your attention or read a good book that will take your mind somewhere else.
4. Talk To Your Partner
If you have trouble with overthinking, talk to your partner about it. If they understand why you act the way you do at times, it might help them be a little more patient. Being open and honest is important, but make sure you aren’t throwing out accusations during your conversation. Maintaining open communication with your partner can help stop you from overthinking.
Sources:
I Heart Intelligence
Psychology Today
Wiki How
Real Simple
Elite Daily